Thursday, September 23, 2010

Am I ready?

After taking a break and having mostly a lot of fun, it is now time to jump back on the infertility wagon. I started BC last week and will start Lupron injects in 2 weeks. I am not sure if it is the BC or the anticipation or both that is putting me on edge. We have 8 snow babies ready for us when we are. I am just not sure if I am ready to head down this road once again. I don't want to go through the ups and downs of it all. We are on our last leg of this journey and know that a year from now I will either be with a baby, pregnant or on my adoption journey.

Who knew that 7 years ago I would be here having to make decisions like this. I expected to have a 6 year old and a 4 year old, maybe even a 2 year old. I thought at 29 I would be done having kids and finishing up graduate school. Well, in a sense I will be done having kids or at least trying to have them. I am just not sure if I am ready to be done. I really hope something good happens this fall. I don't know how I will be able to handle the holidays this year with all the new babies in my family if I am once again without.

We will see.

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