Friday, April 3, 2009

Just some thoughts

Tomorrow my support group is going to Ripley's Believe It or Not in SF to rub the fertility idol. I am really looking forward to having a fun trip. I don't know that it will help but hopefully all of us will get pregnant next month! haha
I have finally made the decision not to attend baby showers any more. I always feel obligated to go if I can and used to enjoy buying gifts. My hope of happy a baby of my own is getting slim so I am trying to save myself the pain of attending. I am not sure if I will even send gifts any more. If I do maybe I will start sending gift cards to Target since it is generic. I am doing all I can to cope with this and have been hearing how strong I am. Honestly, that almost makes it worse. I feel like when people tell me that, they think it is not bothering me like it is. I just have to do so much to cope that it seems like I am okay but I really am not. I guess if I have a mental breakdown they will stop telling me I am doing well. No one can really know what they are going to say is okay with me because it all depends on the day.
One other funny thing is my favorite new some is by Miley Sirus aka Hannah Montana. It is about getting to the other side of the mountain. It is not what is there but the climb. I totally agree. I am trying to get to the other side of a huge mountian and I am learning a lot through my climb. =)