Today was harsh. The first hour after my blood test was fine. I was hard at work (at home) knowing there would be lots of time. As the time got closer I couldn't focus. I was sweating and felt sick. We got the call with a BFN. I felt like someone stabbed me in the heart. I have been preparing myself for it because I just had a feeling it was not going to happen. DH is not taking it well. That hurts me even more. We talked about our frozen but I said "I am so sick of this and I don't want to do it anymore".
I will need time to heal. I usually want to go shopping but that didn't even sound good. I have been doing that a lot the last few weeks so maybe that is why. I feel so defeated and really don't think it will happen for us. I am scared. I also think about adoption and the roller coaster that will be if we go that route. I am just so tired of it all.